Ahhh.... Heroes of The Lance... we meet again.

Where do I begin to describe how I loathe you? Your "graphics" that look at home on a Colecovision? Your amusing attempt at "action"? The endless midgets (they're actually 'Aghar' or "Gully Dwarves")?

Oh! I know!

It was when I first picked you up at a second-hand store, looking upon you with eyes that cherished the experience to be had. The hope that you were better than the aborted spawn of a step-brother that was the Nintendo Entertainment System version. The hope that, maybe, in some twisted sense of logic the best parts of you had been left on the cutting room floor.

NOPE!

AD&D: DL: HoTL is, quite possibly, the WORST game ever made. Although it's 'sequels' Shadow Sorceror and Dragons of Flame are noted for being both 'playable' and 'controllable', ACRONYM is nowhere near that level of, well, 'working'.

The game starts with you in the middle of a non-descript castle where midgets fly into your kneecaps at mach 1, but, BEFORE it hits you, you can pick between ANY of the Heroes of The Lance! For example: Tanis gets hit right about the groin, Raistlin gets hit twice and takes a nap, and Tasslehoff can swing his hoopak just slow enough that you aren't sure if he's feeling his way around or attacking an enemy!

The music, however, is where this game shines! It's almost listenable and, on occasion, CHANGES! There are even amazing points in the game where during animations you can almost tell the difference between Goldmoon and Laurana! WOW!

Between the jaw-dropping fights with enemies of different heights, midgets frequently assaulting your wedding tackle and the sheer delight of throwing your keyboard in either disgust or frustration, TOO-MANY-LETTERS will encouarge you to achieve that which most wouldn't think possible!

Suicide.